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Book Of The Week: Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything by Iyanla Vanzant

Author: Iyanla Vanzant

Genre: Self-help

Pages: 303

Review: 4.3/5

Main Points Of the Book:

1- Forgiveness addresses how we think and feel about others and ourselves and how those thoughts manifest within our lives as energy

2- Nothing in life causes more pain and suffering than the judgments we hold about and against ourselves 

3- Regardless of how hard, challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem, everything is just as it needs to be in order for us to heal, grow, and learn

4- Comparison is an act of violence against the self 

5- Forgiveness is not forgetting; it is simply denying your pain the right to control your life 


This book is written by Iyanla Vanzant. Iyanla Vanzant is an American inspirational speaker,  spiritual teacher, author, life coach, and television personality. She was listed among the 100 Most Influential African-Americans by Ebony magazine. She was also awarded the 31st NAACP Image Award for “Outstanding Literary Work, Non-Fiction” for Yesterday I Cried. This book provides an intensive personal transformation process. She has shared a detailed journaling work and Emotional freedom techniques in the 21 day forgiveness process in the book.


Reading the book’s title, one can come up with the question of “Why would I want to practice forgiveness?”. Well, we should practice forgiveness because Many times we do not let go of our past. If the past is bitter and brings back painful memories and bad experiences or relationships with people, then we should go for the process of forgiveness.

When we master the practice of forgiveness, we can let go of so many bad memories and people who have had wronged us. And when we know how to forgive, we eliminate excess mental and emotional weight that keeps us stuck in repetitive situations, circumstances, and experiences that are not healthy or productive for us. The only true way to create a more loving, productive, and fulfilling life is by forgiving the past. Releasing the past restores us to the full energy of the present moment.

To start the process of forgiveness, Iyanla has shared the Emotional Trigger List. When a word catches your attention, write it down, and begin writing your 12 Forgiveness Statement. By writing the forgiveness statements, it will be easy to identify the negative emotions hiding behind your thoughts.

We judge ourselves and others harshly most of the time. When we judge another person, we do not for a second think that what if, what we think of the other person is wrong and unjustified? What if they need help? Or tough situations have made them cold-hearted that’s why they behave the opposite way? Our judgments sometimes give rise to a toxic or negative feeling. Forgiveness of our judgments opens space and energy in our minds and hearts that have held blocked off by anger, bitterness, and resentment.

Further, she has shared her painful memory of losing her daughter. She experienced anger, rage, sadness, and other negative emotions that are harmful to the body and mind. At that time, she did not know how to deal with all the negativity and rage around her. That is when she wrote down everything she could think of that made her mad as hell.

She became trained and certified as an expert in a healing process known as the Progressive Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping. We all hold negative energy in the form of thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and memories about someone or something. These thoughts not only create stress, they can also trigger a disruption in the body’s energy or meridian system. That stress is experienced as physical or psychological pain. Tapping is a process that can unblock the stuck mental, emotional, or psychological discomfort caused by blocked energy. By tapping on specific meridian points on the body and speaking aloud the thoughts and feelings that we hold, we can stimulate and clear the systems in our body that block our positive energy.

Each chapter in the book contains Journal work, Daily forgiveness process reminders, and prayer of forgiveness. All the forgiveness exercises and writing work helps get better thoughts, and most importantly allows us to reflect on our thoughts and surroundings. The exercises provided in the book attract positive energy and aids the healing of the mind and body. 

Conclusion: This book helps to shift our perspective in many different areas of our life. Through beautiful prayers, journaling work, and the tapping process described in the book, we can achieve peace and positivity around us.

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